My call to Haiti

I feel like it's time for an update in the area of God's call on my life. This is going to be kinda long but just bear with me. He has been revealing some new things to me. Well, most of you know that I'm called to orphan care.

While I was in Africa, I was asking the Lord to reveal the next step He has for me.
I kept thinking about Haiti. I wasn't sure if it was because it's similar to Africa in many ways or if it was something else. Turns out, it was something else. It was God whispering to my heart that I was to return to Haiti. At our mid-debrief, one of the AIM members that came for our session told me that I was not only going to minister to orphaned children but to those who are orphaned in spirit. I didn't know what that meant exactly.

Fast forward to when I return home. I found out Incline Student Ministries at my church is going on a mission trip with Convoy of Hope to Haiti this summer. Which is crazy because that is the very place I am called to. So,  I am going with them but when they come back to America, I will not be joining them. I'm staying. I asked God how long I was to stay. He asked me if I would still be willing to go if I did not know when I was coming home. And my answer was yes. So, I'm going to Haiti and staying until the Lord tells me I am done there. It's crazy but I have no choice but to say yes.

I began to look into different trips and organizations and orphanages in Haiti. I contacted orphanage upon orphanage. I got very little response. I was frustrated and it didn't make sense to me. I prayed and prayed. I am not exactly sure of the moment or way that God spoke to me. But I was thinking about when I was in Haiti before. We went to three different orphanages. And I remember a stark contrast between two of them. The first one had lost everything in the earthquake. They were living in a not so large UNICEF tent. But they were so happy. The "Mama" was so full of Christ. She loved God, she loved the children and she was just radiant. The children loved her so much in return. They were being taught about their heavenly Papa. They had so little but they did have the one thing that actually matters, the Lord. But the second orphanage was a little iffy. They had a great building and decent resources. It seemed all of the kids basic needs were being met. But there was no evidence of love. In it's place there seemed to be fear and sadness. The kids seemed distant. I don't know every detail or both sides of the story but it was suspected that the staff was not honorable with money that had been donated to help the orphanage or with the way they treated the children. As I thought about the difference between the two, my heart broke for the latter. I know that there are very few legitimate orphanages in Haiti. I know that they do horrible, horrible things to the children. And now, I know that I am called to change that. The Lord has shown me that the people who work at these places, who are caring for these children, are only doing these evil things because they don't know love themselves. They don't know any better. They don't know the God of love. God has called me to show them His great love. I want to introduce them to our wonderful Savior, to tell them about what He has done for us. If they have never been loved themselves, they won't understand His love. That's what I have to do. I have to love them so that they might be able to understand Him.

You see, it's not just the children. It's the orphaned in spirit. It's both. That's my call. That's what God wants.

I have no idea what this is going to look like though. The reason I was getting no response was because I wasn't contacting the right people. Right now, I cannot contact the people I am going to be working with because they don't have websites on the Internet. I just have to wait. Once I'm there, I am certain that the Lord will guide and lead me to the places He wants me to go.

 I'm in the process of finding a place to stay while I am there. The guesthouses are too expensive for a long-term stay. As of right now, I don't know where I will be living. But I do know that God has a plan.
Some people have asked me if I'm still going to stay if the date of my trip comes and I still don't know where I am going to stay. And the answer is yes, absolutely. My answer to God's call was not contingent on my living conditions. Who am I to say "God, I'll only go if you show me every single detail before I actually get there"?

I know that this is where God has called me. I know He is going to provide for me and guide me. I also know that He has NEVER FAILED BEFORE. So I have peace. And I leave in 41 days not knowing when I will return.