Nothing good in me.

It's been a while since I've written. This is a new blog, a new post, and a fresh start!

As all of you know, I spent three and a half months living in Africa, spending everyday with precious children. It's been hard being home, wanting to be there, or anywhere still loving. 

Today, my mom told me about an orphanage in Haiti that was selling the children. This thought, this image, this fact sickens me. My very first thought because the article was posted by Visiting Orphans was that it was one of the orphanages that I went to. It was one of the places that I had personally been to and where I fell in love with the children. Right away, I logged onto the computer frantically searching, my heart pounding, needing to know the name of the orphanage. It turns out it wasn't the same questionable orphanage I had been to. 

But here's the thing. It shouldn't matter if I had been there or not. It shouldn't matter if it was the faces I got to kiss or not. They are still children. In the book Kisses from Katie, she gave an example similar to this about children being harmed but it somehow feeling different when it was her own. She realized it shouldn't make a difference. Except, we are human, and that's natural. It's not okay and I don't want it to be natural for me. 

 And through this experience, I am just reminded the only thing that's good in me is Jesus. I'm thankful I don't have to do anything at all on my own and that He will show me how to love. And those orphans, whether I know them yet or not, are the very reason I am committing my life to love them like Jesus does.